


Rinse Cycle

by BewareTheIdesOfMarch



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Laundromat AU, M/M, Pre-Slash, this is like the tamest story ever where the characters are basically naked the whole time, this is literally a 2am laundromat AU that's the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BewareTheIdesOfMarch/pseuds/BewareTheIdesOfMarch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m Kagami Taiga and I know how to use a washing machine, fuck you."</p>
<p>Kuroko raises an eyebrow at Kagami’s surprisingly vehement statement.  “I wouldn’t dare insinuate something like that.”</p>
<p>"Well… good."  Kagami clears his throat awkwardly.  "Because I do.  I know how to use a washing machine."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>(Or: The story where they meet in a laundromat.  At 2 am.  While wearing only their underwear.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rinse Cycle

**Author's Note:**

> I realized halfway through writing this that the characters are Japanese, which means they don't use quarters as a form of currency. Forgive me.

It’s two am and Kagami is so fucking sick of his roommate that he thinks he might just curl up on the floor of this dingy laundromat and sleep there for the night.  Seriously, he’s pretty sure that if he lies down right in front of the machine that’s currently cleaning his clothes the sleepy looking guy at the counter won’t bat an eye.  Just one night away from Takao would be nice.  One night where he won’t be woken up by his roommate’s antics.  One night without being pestered with a seemingly random onslaught of unrelated questions about his sexual history ( _or being asked if he wants to accompany Takao to the cafeteria for some late-night orange juice and a card game - or suffering through another minute of the horror movie marathon Takao’s favorite channel has every weekend - or trying to convince his roommate that yes they really will get kicked out if he tries to smuggle in a cat_ ).

It’s not that he doesn’t like the guy, they actually get along pretty well, but the fact of the matter is that Kagami can’t handle bubbly people and most days Takao is positively effervescent.  Things happen around Takao in strange, seemingly unstoppable chain reactions.  People get involved, decisions are made, Kagami comes back from his part-time job to find seven students in various states of inebriation in what used to be his (somewhat) clean and (mostly) orderly dorm room, and all Takao can offer him is a shrug and the plastic bag full of quarters that serves as their emergency laundry fund.  He’s exhausted, he’s pissed off, and he’s standing in the student laundromat at two am wearing only his boxers.

The machine eats 75 cents more than it should have and Kagami is secretly rooting for it to swallow all of Takao’s stupid consolation quarters.  Stupid Takao and his stupid friends who can’t hold their stupid alcohol.  Stupid Kagami for letting that Izuki guy get close enough to hurl on him.  Stupid, stupid, _stupid_ Kagami for leaving without making sure that the clothes he’d grabbed to change into were clean (or his, or acceptable to wear in public even if they _were_ his).  (( _why does Takao even own a dinosaur kigurumi???_ \- these are the sort of thoughts that plague Kagami at night))

The machine makes a suspicious rattling noise and gives up about halfway through its cycle.  Fucking fantastic.  Kagami yanks open the door, gathers the still-soapy clothes up, and marches over to the next row of washing machines in what he already suspects is a vain hope of finding one that will finish the job properly and make his night just a little better.  He narrows his eyes, trying to scout out a likely looking machine.  Number 1 looks like it’s seen better decades.  Judging from the accumulated grime on the outside of number 2, it might actually make his clothes _dirtier._   Number 3 is out of order, but, _aha!,_ machine number 4 looks functional and unsuspecting.

Kagami stalks his prey carefully, keeping his footfalls light and his breathing shallow.  Once he’s within a meter or so he takes a deep breath and swoops in for the kill.  He rushes at number 4 and, with a dunk that would make his middle school basketball coach weep with pride, he stuffs his load of soggy laundry into the innocent appliance.

He expected the satisfying squishing sound his vomit and water-soaked clothes made when they hit the bottom of the machine.  He had not, however, expected the startled noise made by the unfortunate customer he might have just accidentally body-slammed to the floor.

"Oh shit, man, I didn’t see you there.  Are you okay?"  As Kagami tries to help the poor guy up he can’t help but notice what he’s wearing.  Or rather, what he isn’t wearing.  Namely, clothing.

Ideally, if someone were to film the first meeting of Kagami Taiga and Kuroko Tetsuya it would probably go a little like this: 

[ **SCENE** : A dimly lit laundromat.  **KAGAMI TAIGA** and **KUROKO TETSUYA** are positioned off-center mid-way down one row of washing machines.  Both are properly attired for the occasion in sweatpants and t-shirts.  There is a basket of spilled laundry on the floor **(KUROKO’S)** and clothing can be seen in a nearby machine **(KAGAMI’S).**   The two are facing each other and an old pop song about kissing the girl or falling in love is playing quietly in the background.]

**KAGAMI:** I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.  Let me help you up.

[He offers a hand to **KUROKO** and pulls him into a standing position.  He does not stare at **KUROKO’S** crotch because he is fully clothed and definitely not wearing boxers with petunias patterned all over them.]

**KUROKO:** I get that a lot, don’t worry about it.

[Camera zooms in - you can see the light play across their faces as a car drives by the laundromat.  **KAGAMI** is absolutely not going to say something embarrassing about **KUROKO’S** lack of pants because, like we’ve mentioned, they’re both already wearing some.  **KUROKO** does not make fun of **KAGAMI’S** boxers in retaliation because they are not visible.]

**KAGAMI:** No way, I’m really sorry for knocking you over.  I’ve got some extra quarters, let me make it up to you.

**KUROKO:** It’s fine, really.

[The two have not dropped hands yet.  Music gets louder, significant eye contact is made.  The audience is aware that this moment is very important and will be reminisced on fondly over the years, perhaps even told in a dramatic fashion at family gatherings for years to come.  The two gather up **KUROKO’S** spilled laundry and put it into the machine next to the one that has **KAGAMI’S** laundry in it.  The music swells, and the camera changes - now we’re watching them from the outside of the laundromat, unable to hear what’s being said but able to observe that they seem to be hitting it off.  **KAGAMI** laughs at something **KUROKO** says.  **KUROKO** smiles.  Everything is lovely and cute and not at all awkward.  **KAGAMI** does not make a fool of himself and drop his bag of quarters everywhere.  **KUROKO** does not blatantly eye his ass while he picks them up.  The moment will be featured prominently in the movie trailer and gifs of this scene will be popular on social media sites for months after the movie’s release.]

Unfortunately, this is not an ideal world and Kagami Taiga is having a really bad night.  Instead of saying something suave and offering to pick up the blue-eyed guy’s clothing, Kagami does his Kagami thing and makes a very obvious and impolite statement.

"What the fu- Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?!"  He pulls his hands very quickly away from any bare skin he might have inadvertently touched while helping the other guy to his feet.

"I’m fine," the mostly naked guy says, answering Kagami’s earlier question, "And if we’re going to be fair about this, I’m wearing more clothes than you are."

Kagami looks down at himself and flushes.

"We’re both in our underwear so we’re wearing the same amount of clothing!"

"Wrong.  We may both be wearing boxers, but proportionately, as there is considerably more of you than there is of me but still a similar amount of boxer material, I have more skin covered than you do.  That makes _you_ the one who is more naked.”  He gazes impassively at Kagami, as if this is a reasonable argument to be having in the dark of night inside a questionably clean laundromat.

"Well… at least my boxers aren’t covered in some silly flower pattern!"  Kagami tries to look scornfully at the underwear of the shorter boy, but it just feels like he’s looking awkwardly at his crotch again so he changes tactics.  He picks a nice, safe point above the head of his new acquaintance and stares fixedly at it, desperately wishing the situation would just resolve itself already.

"Says the man wearing pink underwear."  Oooh, another cutting retort from the other late-night launderer.  Kagami winces and his ears turn a slightly darker pink.

"They used to be white," he mutters, still watching the gas station across the street rather than make eye contact with the weird guy in flowery underwear.  "I washed them with a pair of red socks by accident."

The other guy nods sagely, apparently familiar with the many missteps one can make in the frightening world of clothing care.  A long moment passes where neither of them says anything.  The two of them just stand there, one avoiding looking at the other who is using the opportunity to check out his not unimpressive figure.  The song that had been playing quietly over the speakers in the laundromat fades out quietly and there are a few seconds of silence until it fades back into a cover of a popular rock ballad by a little-known Spanish death metal band.

Kagami clears his throat.  “Well, uh, I guess it was nice meeting you.  I’m just going to finish my laundry now.”  He edges away towards machine 4.  The other guy nods and starts gathering his clothing off of the floor.  Kagami watches him out of the corner of his eye, feeling guilty about being responsible for the mess but a little vindicated at the same time.  _Take that, underwear asshole.  Who’s having a bad night now?_

As he starts dropping coins into the machine, the bag of quarters that Takao had handed him suddenly rips, spilling all of their laundry money across the dirty tile of the laundromat floor.  That’s right, Kagami’s having a bad night.  How could he have forgotten?

The underwear asshole looks up from where he’s busily dumping his dirty socks and unmentionables into machine number 5.  Quarters roll everywhere, spinning and bouncing wildly.  Kagami just watches, the torn ziplock still clutched loosely in his hand.  He lets out a long sigh and sits down on the floor.  He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the washing machine.  Maybe he really will just sleep here.  That’d be fine, right?  Takao probably has his hands full with being drunk and sociable so it’s not like he’ll call the police or campus security if Kagami doesn’t come back until morning.

There’s a quiet clink as a quarter is deposited into the coin slot of the washing machine, followed by another, and then another.  Kagami cracks one eye open to see the underwear asshole standing next to him and pushing the appropriate buttons to start the wash cycle for Kagami’s clothes.  The machine beeps impatiently, but gets going with a disaffected rumble.  Kagami’s mouth goes dry as he tips his head back to see other guy.  _I can look up his nose from here._

He clears his throat awkwardly.  “Um, thanks.”

"You’re welcome."

Silently, the two of them both start rounding up all the stray coins.  Kagami sweeps them into a little pile with his hands while his new acquaintance (friend? compatriot? colleague?) chases after the farthest reaching renegades and snatches them up before anyone else can come along and capitalize on Kagami’s loss.  Not that there’s anyone else there to attempt such a thing.  Maybe some kind of lint-gremlin will crawl out from under one of the dryers and take them all if they don’t pick them up fast enough.  Maybe the underwear guy is in league with the lint monsters.  What if he’s only picking up Kagami’s quarters because he wants him to be indebted to him?  What if he shows up years later and demands Kagami’s first born be handed over to the kingdom of the lint gremlins because of this time right now when he’s helping him pick up all his spilled quarters?  Maybe Kagami’s been awake for 21 consecutive hours and things are starting to get a little fuzzy. 

Whatever.  Sleep is overrated.

He gives himself a shake to dislodge all thoughts of lint gremlins and goes back to retrieving the scattered remains of the emergency laundry fund.  Soon enough he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor with a pile of quarters in front of him.  The other student (Kagami had spotted his university book-bag) squats down in front of him and carefully deposits a meager handful of coins onto the pile.

"Thanks.  Again."

"Next time you should invest in a wallet."

"Next time I’m going to make sure my roommate takes care of the laundry himself," Kagami grumbles.

"Ah, you too?"  The sympathetic tone makes Kagami look up curiously.  Flowery-boxers guy is settling down across from him and when he sees his look he elaborates.  "My suitemates forgot to tell me that they were doing laundry earlier this week.  I have an important meeting with my adviser and one of my professors in six hours and I am currently wearing the cleanest set of clothing I have." 

Kagami reflexively looks at the other guy’s crotch again, getting an eyeful of petunias before feeling the redness return to his face and quickly looking away.

"Roommates are the worst," he chokes out, mentally cursing everything Takao has ever done to him that might have led to this situation.  From the corner of his eye he can see the other guy nodding agreeably.  Things (like the conversation, Kagami’s dignity, and the semi-companionable vibe they had going on) are rapidly deteriorating as he realizes he can’t force himself to initiate eye contact again.  Kagami is just about to make an inane comment about the weather to the washing machine to his left when the insistent beeping that signals the end of the final rinse cycle saves him.  He practically leaps to his feet and stumbles around nearly-nude dude in his haste to reach his laundry machine.   He scoops his damp clothes out and speed-walks with them in his arms over to the other end of room to get to the dryers.  The dryer is loaded in record time, and when he returns to the aisle with all his quarters to retrieve the correct change the other guy is busily attending to his own laundry.

Kagami gathers as much of the laundry fund as he can into the remnants of the plastic bag, but he’s far enough past the point of caring that the coins that slip out are abandoned to their fate on the cold floor.  He can hear the other guy cussing quietly under his breath at his own washing machine as he passes him on his way back to the dryers, but he lets cowardice win over his conscience this time and puts as much distance between himself and flowery-boxers as the confines of the laundromat allow.  _It’s just so awkward.  You’re not built for this, Taiga.  You’re not the sort of person who can make friends while you’re in your underwear - and you especially can’t do it while he’s in his underwear too._

He looks nervously over the rows of appliances and feels a pang of guilt like a punch to the gut when he sees the other guy frowning and moving his partially washed clothing to a neighboring machine.  Kagami notes that the machine had stopped almost exactly halfway through the cycle, just like his had.  _This must be some kind of trick by the laundromat owners,_ he muses.  _First the machines take more coins than they should, then they only wash your laundry halfway.  You’ve gotta move to a different machine when the first one stops responding to any of your button pressing, but it’s a trap because the second machine is demanding twice the usual price too._ Consumed by ideas of laundry embezzlement schemes, he glares at the dryer, daring it to try anything similar. 

_I’m on to you, you sneaky bastard._

"Did you say something?"

Kagami’s heart nearly leaps out of chest.  He flinches so violently that he slams his hip into the dryer and his short life flashes before his eyes as he looks down to see the other guy standing next to him, holding something in one hand and looking bemused. 

"Holy _shit._ "  He has one hand over his heart and the other pressed to his quickly reddening side.  "You scared the fuck out of me!"

"Sorry."  Privately, Kagami thinks the shorter guy doesn’t look very sorry at all.  Actually, he looks kind of pleased with himself.  Asshole.

"I asked the guy at the counter for a bag."  He sets a plastic bag with the coins Kagami had left for the lint gremlins on top of the dryer.  He looks Kagami dead in the eye.  "If you rip this one you’ll have to go talk to him yourself."

Kagami stops trying to calm his pounding heart and frowns down at him.  “I could have done it myself.”

"You haven’t been able to make coherent conversation for the entire time we’ve been in here."

Kagami sputters, his (metaphorical) hackles rising.  “I- It’s the middle of the night!  I’d like to see you do better!”  _Smooth, Taiga.  Real smooth._

"If you insist."  The other guy clears his throat and shifts his weight to the other foot.  "Hello, I’m Kuroko Tetsuya.  I’m sorry to hear about your roommate troubles.  Do you need any more help with your laundry or do you think you can manage it from here on out?"

Kagami gapes like a fish for a few seconds, his brain not quite registering what's happening.  Then things click into place and he gears up to get his conversation game on.  He’s not going to lose to some weirdo in a laundromat, goddammit.

"I’m Kagami Taiga and I know how to use a washing machine, fuck you."

Yeah, things are off to a good start.

The imaginary film student, making their rom-com/meet cute story of the blossoming relationship between these two losers in boxer shorts, would probably write the following scene this way:

[ **SCENE:** A dimly lit laundromat.  **KAGAMI TAIGA** and **KUROKO TETSUYA** stand in front of a slightly outdated dryer with clothes **(KAGAMI’S)** visibly tumbling around inside.  The radio is playing a soft song with indistinguishable words in the background.  The pair is framed by the warm light of a solitary light bulb that is positioned directly above them.  **KUROKO** has a small smile on his face and is listening intently to a story that **KAGAMI** is telling him.]

**KAGAMI:** …and then he said, “We’re playing the Wheel of Fortune drinking game.  Do you want in?”  I didn’t even know there _was_ a Wheel of Fortune drinking game!

[Both laugh and the camera zooms in.  A warm expression is visible on both of their faces.]

**KAGAMI:** Hey, Kuroko?

**KUROKO:** Yes?

[Camera focuses solely on **KAGAMI.**   He looks a little nervous and takes a deep breath or two.]

**KAGAMI:** [not looking at **KUROKO]** Would you maybe want to get coffee with me some time?

[Music gets quiet.  **KAGAMI** fidgets and looks back to **KUROKO** for his response.  He seems to regret what he said and tries to diffuse the situation.]

**KAGAMI:** It doesn’t have to be like a date or anything if you don’t want it to be. 

[ **KUROKO** meets **KAGAMI’S** eye and smiles.]

**KUROKO:** I’d like that a lot.

[Music swells again, the main theme playing happily, but not loudly enough that the characters can’t be easily heard.]

**KAGAMI:** _Great!_   [he clears his throat and tries to keep his cool] I mean, that’s great.

[Both are visibly happy and the music gets louder as they smile at each other.  The dryer beeps loudly, startling them out of their sappy moment.  They both jump and laugh a little.  Together they unload **KAGAMI’S** laundry and **KUROKO** helps him match socks.  The camera zooms out and the music swells again.  The audience watches them bump hands and fold **KAGAMI’S** clothing across rows of silent washer/dryers.  The scene fades gently to black.  The next scene is going to be a sharp contrast of bright colors and a noisy background.  **KAGAMI** is most likely dreamily unloading his late-night laundry adventure onto his roommate, **TAKAO KAZUNARI** , in the campus cafeteria.  **TAKAO** probably makes some kind of comment at the end of his story, asking when he’s going to call **KUROKO** for their date.  There’s a moment of dramatic silence and all of a sudden it’s revealed that **KAGAMI** completely forgot to get **KUROKO’S** phone number.  The rest of the movie follows **KAGAMI’S** quest (with assistance from his wise-cracking roommate, **TAKAO)** to find the boy of his dreams again.  There are a lot of clever lines that will be widely quoted by the sort of people who never shut up about the movie they just saw.  It gets a solid 75% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.  The sequel will follow **KUROKO** and **KAGAMI’S** hilarious attempts to find **TAKAO** a suitable romantic partner, but ultimately the first movie will far outshine the second.]

Alas, the imaginary film student has no actual influence on the actions of Kagami Taiga and Kuroko Tetsuya.  Needless to say, pink-boxers!Kagami has nowhere near as much game as the much adored and more appropriately clothed movie!Kagami. Pink-boxers!Kagami is in a bad mood and has been vomited on too recently for the 'look back and laugh' rule to go into effect.  The reasonable reader will cut him some slack for not immediately worrying about his romantic prospects.

Kuroko raises an eyebrow at Kagami’s surprisingly vehement statement.  “I wouldn’t dare insinuate something like that.”

"Well… good."  Kagami clears his throat awkwardly.  "Because I do.  I know how to use a washing machine."

"You’ve made that very clear."

"Right.  Yeah."

Kuroko’s expression is unnervingly neutral and Kagami starts feeling antsy under his gaze.  The laundromat is silent except for the two machines currently going about their business as cleaning appliances.

"You’re proving my point about you being a poor conversationalist, you know."

"Fine!" Kagami snaps, "I’m terrible with naked people, you got me!  Congratulations, now please go take your flowery dick somewhere else and bother some other poor asshole."

Kuroko looks impassively at the increasingly flustered Kagami.  “I wasn’t aware that my choice of undergarments was causing you so much distress.  If you prefer, I can remove them.” 

_That’s sarcasm, that has to be sarcasm.  Was that a smirk?  Please, please be a smirk._

"Fuck."  Kagami has officially given up.  "Can you just… go?  Can you go do your own laundry or something?"  He lets out a long sigh and runs his hands through this hair.  "It’s been a really shitty day, okay?  I can’t deal with this."

Kuroko opens his mouth to say something, but Kagami cuts him off.

"If you make one more comment about my people skills I swear I’ll- I’ll…  I’ll throw you out the goddamn window."

Kuroko doesn’t say anything, but he does give Kagami a look.  It’s a pointed look, one with a lot of meaning behind it.  How he manages to convey it all with barely a facial twitch would actually be pretty impressive if Kagami would bother to stop and consider it.

"No," Kagami growls.  "No.  Shut up."  He can practically feel the amusement coming off of Kuroko in waves.  "Stop it, I can hear you thinking it."

"Can you?"  There’s no denying that the little shit is definitely enjoying this.

"Yeah, I can, so knock it off."

"You’re a talented man, Kagami-san."

"What did I do to deserve this?"

"I’m sure I don’t know."

Kagami shoots Kuroko the nastiest look he can manage.  “I am going to request a dorm transfer.  I swear to god, I don’t care if Takao promises to do all of our laundry for a year, nothing is worth being puked on by one of his friends and getting stuck in a laundromat with a crazy guy in the middle of the night.”

Kuroko gives Kagami a once-over, from his ruffled hair all the way down to his bare feet.  The dryer spins noisily and muffled rap music comes from the radio.  For one long, beautiful moment Kagami almost believes that he’s going to take pity on him and leave him alone.

"Takao Kazunari is your roommate?"

Kagami lets out a long groan and buries his face in his hands.  Of course.  _Of course_ the only other person crazy (or unlucky) enough to be in this godforsaken laundromat at this godforsaken hour of the night just happens to be wearing nothing but his underwear _and_ seems to be familiar with Kagami's annoying as hell roommate.  Why would he expect anything else?

"Takao-kun neglected to mention that his roommate looks so good naked."

Kagami’s head shoots up, his face flushing (and to be honest he couldn’t tell you if it’s because of anger or the odd compliment he’s just received), but Kuroko is already inexplicably gone.

Screw the dorm transfer, Kagami is going to _strangle_ Takao.

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been in a laundromat before, nor have I ever attempted to write any kind of script. There will probably be a second story eventually. Please blame the people who keep sending me AU ideas.


End file.
